The good news

Dr. Ang called.
He has good news.

The little one is healthy, with no down syndrome.
He is a baby boy. (:

I'm more thrilled to know that the little one's alright.
Momma's gonna continue protecting you.

Week 13

The ultrasound screen shows little love sleeping inside me.
I was filled with jitters, so afraid of going into the procedure room.

Hunz held my hands and showered hugs. It was comforting but I was still afraid.

My name was called out, he had to stay outside.
The LA hurts, but the introducer hurts worse.
My focus was on the little one; like guided by the sonographer, I kept focusing on him.
The biopsy hurt like crap.
I lost count of the samples taken.
I heard the consultant said "PCR" but I couldn't remember what it meant that instance.

Then, it was all over. I was out of the procedure suite, ready to be discharged.
Three days of complete rest in bed was there waiting.

Week 12

Dr. Ang called.
The OSCAR result was ready.
The little one was at high risk for down syndrome at birth.

My world crashed.
It was a roller coaster ride before deciding to have him stay.
And now this.

The first thing flashed across my head was if it was karma.
Karma for even harboring thoughts of erasing him from my life.

I cried.
My heart sank.
It felt so bad that I've never been so hurt before.

Hunz and I had two options.
A CVS test next week or Amniocentesis at 5 months.

We're going for the CVS.
It's easier now than later.

A long crazy road

The pregnancy hasn't been easy.

Besides the raging hormones,I've been falling sick, feeling all that morning sickness.

All that physical, emotional and financial stress is killing me.
I thought I could be strong, but all I do is cry night after night.

I have to stop crying.
It's not good for me or the baby.
Crying isn't solving any problems anyway.

I NEED to be strong.

The heartbeat

We heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time today.

It was such a joyful thing for me.
it signified a life growing inside me.

Like the little one's telling me "momma, I can't wait to get out and be with you and daddy."

I hope hunz felt happy when he heard the little one's heartbeat.

Breaking the news

I broke the news to hunz.
At the wrongest moment - in the midst of his exams.
He kept pressing and I suck at hiding or lying.

First Obs Visit

I couldn't see the little one via ultrasound.

Dr. Ang said there wasn't a need for a repeat Hcg test since I've done two on my own.
He was sure about the pregnancy.
But, the little one is too little to be captured on screen.

I was happy but afraid.
I don't know what to tell hunz.

The beginning of it all.

I'm late this month.
Been having these crazy cramps I've never experienced before.

I got myself a pregnancy test kit and I decided I should get tested.
At least for a peace of mind if it turns out negative.

The test kit read "Pregnant. 2 - 3 weeks."

I was shocked stiff.