Thursday, 20 September 2012

Reflections and thinking forward

Once in awhile, I like to think back upon the time I just got pregnant, and then I delivered Kayleb and the entire motherhood journey.

Some people will probably wonder what's there to reflect upon for a short span of 9 months. I tell you, you won't know unless you are a mother. These 9 months are so filled up with moments, there seemed to never be a pause button in place. I'm not complaining, but I'm trying to explain how overwhelming motherhood can be.
Kayleb Staring at daddy the moment he was delivered
Hunz had that heartbroken stare when he looked at Kayleb.
Hospitalized, after his SB results were too high.
I was looking at a photo of hunz carrying Kayleb while sitting outside the nursery at the hospital. He was hospitalized for Jaundice, and I was weeping like a crazy bitch because my baby couldn't come home with me. I couldn't figure out what went wrong. First, I was told he was at risk of having down syndrome, and I had to go for a placenta biopsy. Then, I watched my diet, I took multi-vitamins and I made sure I walked with care (although I got kinda clumsy at the 3rd trimester). Perhaps I cried a little too much but hey, I had raging pregnancy hormones - you can't blame me right? Then, they told me Kayleb had high SB and needed to be hospitalized.

Kayleb home after discharge
Then Kayleb got discharged and came home with us. Night became day, day became night and soon I pretty much lost track of time. He had many firsts that amazed us, he choked us with lotsa love, laughter, frustrations, cries and undeniably JOY. He taught me many things, included patience which I never seemed to be able to grip on to. He allowed me and hunz to have something to look forward to at the end of a tiring work day.
Kayleb asleep in momma's arms.
His first trip to the Singapore Zoo.
Thank you for being around Kayleb. You are indeed a precious gift God has bestowed unto us. Momma's looking forward to many more overwhelming moments as you grow up to be our little guy.

If you ask me now if I'd like to have another child (to go through the entire journey again). I'll say, NO. haha, it's too exhausting. I really would love to have a daughter, but I'm very contented with having Kayleb now. Perhaps, in the future, who knows, when I'm ready again. But I doubt so, motherhood is awesome, and frightening at the same time. haha!

with so much love for you, Kayleb,
~ momma & dada

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